Week_5_2/13/16_Arguing as a Conversation

In my immediate surroundings, I actually find it fairly difficult to see arguing as an integral part of my everyday life. This, I think, largely stems from the fact that I have a group of friends with whom I share a majority of similar beliefs, opinions, and oftentimes life experiences. That isn’t of course to say that I do not ever argue with my friends. Taking a theology course definitely challenged us, and we frequently found that we simply had to end an argument with an agree-to-disagree mentality. I often find myself, too, disagreeing with something purely because of the way the idea was presented, and how even though I might agree with the sentiment, the way of arguing the point was in some way problematic for me.

Theology was probably a big step for many people in having diplomatic debates. I have, in high school, already taken classes based on difficult group discussions, handling touchy subjects like religion, abortion, and scientific advancement, so theology discussion was not necessarily a new setup for me. However, when opening discourse with others about something that can be so controversial, tempers can flare, especially when it comes to challenging others’ beliefs. Arguing in the sense that we are simply closing ourselves off to other arguments and ideas means that we are not listening at all, and it has stopped being a conversation. It has instead morphed into two brick walls shouting uselessly into the void; no one is listening to what anyone else is saying, and instead are only concerned with their own opinions. Interactions like these are not healthy exchanges, and it often comes down to one person, probably the professor, teacher’s assistant or discussion leader, to diffuse tensions.

Personally, I find that I love debates, especially when they deal with controversial issues. I enjoy finding new angles on ideas that I thought I knew completely, and having to reevaluate my beliefs in a more critical way. This is not the case, however, with everyone. Subjects that are often avoided are typically politics and religion. These are dodged in conversation time and again, mostly because they are completely personal. The reasons behind these opinions and beliefs often come from how people were raised, or experiences that they themselves had, and justifying those conclusions can be stressful for some. Some do not think that they should have to justify themselves at all, and that their opinion should simply be respected and left alone, or even taken up by others and followed.

The biggest takeaway that I have from all of my experiences with trying to open a friendly debate with others is the fact that allowing yourself to get too invested in trying to actively change their opinion, means that I often lose sight of what we are actually trying to do: open ourselves to critically examine an issue. Arguing should not be shouting “I’m right!” back and forth over the issue. Arguing is a conversation between people that allows for a deeper understanding of a subject and pushes the members of the conversation to step into others’ shoes and look from a different perspective.